"My art is more often done with intention than not. I go to the canvas with purpose rather than flow, though perhaps this is part of personal evolution as I develop as an artist. Knowing this, I feel a sense of achievement when something is complete, whether or not it actually manifests into the initial vision. My creative expression is like many artists, professional or not, and like my peers, my paintings are reflective of an emotional process, as well as the creative one. There is also a symbolic quality to my work, almost always having a theme or some meaning I am aware of, thereby rendering very personal pieces. I have had to adjust, accept, and indeed, welcome the notion that one never knows what appeals to another with art. That is to say, a piece may not be appreciated for what I set out for myself in painting it, and yet appreciated nonetheless, and that fact is thrilling to me because essentially I can fail and succeed simultaneously." In middle life, everything we ever were is the most important it will ever be. Inherently an educator, a student by choice.
Having had piano lessons as a youngster, it is my firm authority to speak of the invaluable truth held in music-making. Consider your own feelings when you listen to music as an adult; and Imagine, now, the impact on children and youth. My personal story began with learning Autonomy as a little pianist, though the earliest is in scents; that is, the Sense of Smell, is keenly associated with pre-linguistic life. In my story, my elder siblings, with their arts, sports, games, and music, bring me to oil paints before I could walk. Crawling under the family Baldwin, to find our Encyclopedia Brittanica, peaking into the anatomy pages, all while a sister (or brother) played overhead. mm, delicious memories of a younger me, as if I could taste it.
Self-Portraiture is a necessary component of the artists' journey. My first ever pencil portrait bore a perfect likeness to my highschool-aged self though was an assignment in VAIII with Mr. Miknowitz, as a senior at JP Stevens in Edison, New Jersey.
I went to his funeral, sadly, though thinking of him still for his critiques and dedication, I recognize the brilliance of teaching what one loves in his memory.
To fill that ache for Purpose, and staving off Meaninglessness in troublesome times of life, I have had my art. Indeed, mappable throughout with esoteric studies, my prolific periods often get lost to drama and the mundane of life. Grief and mourning need expression, however; when prone to the Moods accompanied with grieving, I deny myself music altogether.
The Self Portrait, and that need to have time to express, is as breathing is in Sustaining life. It's a method for returning to personal loves.
Featured currently are three of mine.
Candle-Lit head shot, oil pastel on paper, 1995
Emmy's Piano, oil pastel on paper, 2021
Esoteric Maps, mixed media, 2021
Detail of a larger project, oil on canvas.